One Look At You
by JerichoholicAnonymous
Summary: Dean realizes he's in love with Seth. One-shot.


_Hello! I'm back with a story that's as short as I could probably ever write. The idea just popped in my head and I just ran with it. The piece is written in the second person, but it's entirely Dean's POV. I hope you like the different format because I enjoyed writing it a ton. If you do, please show the story some love with a review! It motivates me a ton to write some more._

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You always thought the first time you'd say you loved someone would be after some great big revelation. You thought you'd say it on a mountain top. You thought you'd say it out of pure adrenaline. You thought an epiphany would light the way. That's if you'd ever said it at all.

But the words never come to you. The epiphany never happens and you start wondering if you're actually in love to begin with, if it's all just an illusion, even if every fiber of your being tells you it's true. You're pretty sure it's true, because all it takes is one look at him to have that warm, fuzzy feeling in your stomach, the one they talk about in movies, the one you never thought you would ever experience.

You don't know how it all started. It's a jumble in your head. All you know is that from the moment you laid eyes on him, you felt this sticky pull towards him, one you couldn't brush off your skin. You felt your head go dizzy when he laid his hand out for you to shake. You adored the sound of his voice when he told you he was ' _Seth_ ', felt your insides turn gooey at the sight of his shy smile. You gravitated towards each other in a way you could never explain, in a way you could never quite fight. You know you played cat and mouse for far too fucking long, twisted and turned around the elephant in the room. Until one day you both decided you couldn't do it anymore, couldn't dance around it any longer and you just went for it, throwing yourself headlong. And you never looked back.

You don't regret a single second of it. The good and the bad you get out of it somehow feels worth the little moments you feel privileged to see, each one engraved in your memory. You don't know how it happens, but you just start paying attention to every small thing he does and part of you knows it's alright.

It starts when you watch him sleep. His bun is ruffled, blonde strands poking through, his head turned to the side, his face a picture of serenity. You feel like you want nothing more than to wake up to this sight everyday. You notice how dazed he is when he wakes up, looking around before he focuses on you, soft as anything, and you feel this weird sense of belonging washing over you. He showers first thing in the morning and later on in the day. He's a clean freak, and when you call him out on it, he scrunches his nose like he always does when you annoy him, like when he snorts when he laughs. You find it so adorable you want to kiss him. And you always do.

He makes you watch horror movies with him and you hate him for it. You're shocked when he actually laughs at that shit. He holds your hand when he feels you tense up in fear, runs his thumb across your palm to tell you it's okay, whispers in your ear ' _I got you_ '. You still hate him for making you do this, even if his touch is slightly worth the suffering you're put through. You wonder how you'd even agreed to it in the first place. But then you remember his sad puppy doe eyes, the same eyes he uses when he wants to coax you into something. You want to punch yourself for never being able to say no to them.

You often tag along when he exercises and he never, ever ceases to amaze you. He loses himself in his workout, so much so that he's in a trance, and you're in a trance too because you can't stop watching him. He grunts and powers through every minute of it, his body glistening with sweat, his eyes wide and intense, his muscles bulging through his tank, and you feel the overwhelming desire to take him right there and then. And sometimes you actually do, dragging him to the shower room because that's all you can physically do.

His kiss makes you weak, renders you to a pool of nothingness in his arms. His lips are the softest you've ever touched. They make you drift to another world, so charged with emotions that you feel like your feet don't touch the ground. He bites his lip when he wants more, looks at you through his lashes when he needs you, and you acquiesce before another second can pass. Your heart skips a beat every time he looks at you with that mischievous glint in his eyes as he climbs on top of you. He looks at you with lust like you've never seen, like you were the hottest thing he'd ever laid eyes on, and you forget to breathe for a while. You know every nook and every cranny of his body, every ridge and every curve, every little touch that turns him on, and he trusts you wholeheartedly. He scratches your back with his nails in pleasurable pain, arches and turns when you hit the spot, screams your name when he's coming undone. He's insatiable and so are you, because you'd have him over and over again if you could, because you wouldn't have it any other way.

Your chest swells up in pride when you make him smile, because he makes you smile all the time. Sometimes you even think that he's the reason you've even got a smile. You don't recall having one before you met him. He tames your anger with just one lift of his finger against your cheek. He picks you up when you fall, unconditionally. He'd go to the ends of the earth just to make sure you were alright. He knows when you feel down before you're even aware of it, knows when doubts are looming before they even creep up on you. He looks you dead in the eyes with the utmost confidence, tells you that you can do it with absolute intent, like there's no way you _can't_ do it. He believes in you so much that you believe in yourself too, and you question how you'd ever gotten on in life before him. He takes better care of you than your family ever did. Every moment you spend by his side gives your life meaning and it scares you, because you realize just how much you've become dependent of him. It scares you but it doesn't send you running, and you know it's not just out of gratitude. You were broken and he put you back together, piece by piece. You don't know if there's any going back and you can't stand the thought of going back from him. Because quite frankly, you'd be lost without him.

You're aware of all these things, but _the words_ still don't come to you. You don't know what's wrong with you, because you're almost sure they're true, almost sure that they're as real as anything you've ever felt, and you still can't bring yourself to say them. You wonder if you're actually capable of ever saying them. You don't know if there's anything that can bring them out of you, even if there's no surer catalyst than Seth. He never puts pressure on you to hear them. You don't know what good deed you've ever done to be this lucky.

You stop trying to force the words out because he tells you to. You share your frustration with him and he tells you it's no issue at all, because he doesn't need words to know how you feel. So you live day by day, feeling unworthy to be with him, even if he tells you that you're the best thing that's ever happened to him. You just hope that you can one day say them.

If it ever happened, you always thought you'd declare your love to him after some great big occasion you'd have to build up to, because that's the least he deserves from you. You just didn't expect it to come so naturally to you. You didn't expect it to come spontaneously. You didn't know that all it would take is seeing him shirtless in your kitchen, humming a song, turning to you when he hears you come in. His face lights up with that warm, toothy grin of his, his eyes still sleepy behind the thick, black frames of his glasses. There's a smidgen of pancake batter on his beard, one he's not aware of, and he cheerfully says he's made you breakfast. You don't know why a moment so mundane would turn your head upside down. You don't know why a moment like this makes you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with this man, why a moment like this makes your heart pound in your chest and make you utter what you knew all along.

"I love you."


End file.
